The Muffin Game

I. Am. Muffin Man! dunununununu nu nu nu nuu
Edit: I am loving google adds

To muffin or not to muffin? That is the muffin

It's the most advanced Muffin you will ever pee on...

(From a commercial for a pregnancy tester)

Are you a muffin, or a muffin?

Well you can just kiss the fattest part of my MUFFIN!

Dad... im muffin.

Oh cruel muffin, why do you conspire against me so?!

Yippee ka yai Muffin Fucker!

sorry i couldnt resist, it sounds so funny.

Muffins! Very Dangerous! You go first!

ps- Kevah, your Pulp Fiction Muffin was epic! i was actually going to do that one if nobody else had, but i am glad that you, specifically, did!

Congratulations, you've won a chance to receive two free iPod muffins...

there's a lady whose sure, that all that glitters is gold, and she is buying a muffin to heaven.

How do I muffin thee? Let me count the ways...

"And remember kids. Always use muffin."

With just a pinch of muffin, and a dash of muffin...

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious muffin of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door —
Only this, and nothing more."
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; — vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow — sorrow for the lost Lenore —
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore —
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me — filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
"'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door —
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; —
This it is, and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you"— here I opened wide the door; —
Muffins there, and nothing more.

Deep into that muffin peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore?"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!" —
Merely this, and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice:
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore —
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; —
'Tis the wind and nothing more."

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately muffin of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door —
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door —
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony muffin beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore.
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient muffin wandering from the Nightly shore —
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"
Quoth the Muffin, "Nevermore."

Much I marveled this ungainly muffin to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning— little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blest with seeing muffin above his chamber door —
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as "Nevermore."

But the muffin, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered— not a feather then he fluttered —
Till I scarcely more than muttered, "other friends have flown before —
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
Then the muffin said, "Nevermore."

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore —
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
Of 'Never — nevermore'."

But the Muffin still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of muffin, and bust and door;
Then upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous muffin of yore —
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous muffin of yore
Meant in croaking "Nevermore."

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the muffin whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then methought the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he hath sent thee
Respite — respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!"
Quoth the Muffin, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil! — prophet still, if muffin or devil! —
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted —
On this home by horror haunted— tell me truly, I implore —
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? — tell me — tell me, I implore!"
Quoth the Muffin, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil - prophet still, if muffin or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore."
Quoth the Muffin, "Nevermore."

"Be that word our sign in parting, muffin or fiend," I shrieked, upstarting —
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!— quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
Quoth the Muffin, "Nevermore."

And the Muffin, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamplight o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted — nevermore!

Darx, you have WAY too much time on your hands....

Jonno_Gradian, on the subject of Papa's Pizzeria:
Hello my good muffin, now I'd like a muffin
with two slices of muffin in
thhhhhhhhhat muffin there
also, i'd like it cooked for 30 seconds

How do I have too much time on my hands?

Going through that ENTIRE poem and putting muffin in it?

He is a muffin and a gentleman.

Ever heard of find and replace, mono?

Had to do this one too...

"SOYLENT GREEN IS MUFFIN!!!"

100 bottles of muffins sitting on the wall.

Do you like muffins?
Yeah we like muffins!
Do you like muffins?
Yeah we like muffins!
Do you like muffins?
Yeah we like muffins!
Do do do,do do
Can't wait to get a muffin,
MUFFINS!!


MUFFINS!!


MUFFINS!
Do do do,do do
Can't wait to get a muffin!

"JUST MUFFIN GOOGLE IT!!"